urd these an thought a you yoof

[Darren C]

Julian takes his cat to the vet.

Julian: "Ayup, lad, I need to talk to thee about me cat."
Vet: "Is it a tom ?"
Julian: "Nay, I've browt it wi' me."

Julian's dog dies and as it was a favourite pet he decides to have a gold statue made by a jeweller to remember the dog by.
Julian: "Can tha mek us a gold statue of yon dog?"
Jeweller: "Do you want it 18 carat?"
Julian: "No I want it chewin' a bone, yer daft bugger!"


Bandit with a sore backside asks chemist "Nah then lad, does tha sell arse cream?"
Chemist replies "Aye lad, Magnum or Cornetto?"

[A Van]

Hahaha very good lol

[mnickels]

Ha ha ha! Excellent

[bandit]

Nice one Darren, like it.