De Lorean EuroTec

Ever tried to buy just ONE spark plug lead lately?

Has the world changed for the worse?

I was working on my Interceptor this weekend when I noticed a damaged lead to the coil. No problem, I thought, just nip down to the local motor factors and buy a lead about the same length……if it was only that simple.

Camberley Auto Factors

“Sorry don’t sell singles, you need to buy a set”……”But I only want 1 and don’t want to fork out for a whole set”
“What cars it for?”
This is where you just know it’s not going to happen.
“Jensen Interceptor III”
“A what? Never heard of it mate, if it ain’t listed I can’t sell you a set”
“Look, can’t you just open the cheapest set you have; if the length is ok I’ll buy it”
“Nope, if I open the box and its wrong then we can’t sell the set. That’s why we list the sets”
“Yes, but Jensen’s not on your list!”
“Sorry mate, not on the list can’t help you!”

Left muttering profanities.

Partco Centre

“Sorry don’t sell singles, you need to buy a set”……”But I only want 1 and don’t want to fork out for a whole set”
“What cars it for?”
“You won’t have it listed, so can I please just have any old lead set that’s got a lead in it that’s about this length (holding up old lead)?”
“We might have it listed by registration number”
A glimmer of hope me thinks, promptly reeling off reg.
“No mate, no match”
“Fine, can you just fetch your cheapest 4 cylinder lead set and I’ll see if there’s one long enough in there”
“What cars it for?”
“Doesn’t matter, just the cheapest set please”
“No I can’t see the prices you, have to name the car first”
“OK, try a Mini”
“What’s the reg?”
“I don’t bl**dy know, I’m just naming a car to get a look in your plug lead box”
“Can’t do it without a reg no”
“AGGGHHH”

Walks out in disgust

Halfords

(All lead’s in boxes on shelf, self look it up guide, eye’s glance at security stickers on boxes, I know I’m not going to be able to open a box)

“Can I help?” (Bloke pops up behind me)
“Probably not, but hey lets give it a try”
“What cars it for?” (Pointing at lead in my hand)
Here we go again.
“Doesn’t matter, just want you to sell me a lead this long please”
“Yes but what cars it for?”
“Jensen”
“Err…are you sure that’s a car name not a model like say…..a Nissan Jensen, or a Toyota Jensen, sounds Japanese or Korean, there’s only Jaguar in the book that begins with J”
Almost loosing the will to live:
“Are you for real?”
“Yes look….only Jaguar begins with J (points to book)”
“Sorry, my mistake, I’ll go home and read the letters on the back of my car to see if it’s a Nissan”

Walk’s out not knowing whether to laugh or cry.

Proparts

Last ditch attempt:

“Sorry don’t sell singles, you need to buy a set”……”But I only want 1 and don’t want to fork out for a whole set , what ever happened to the large racks where HT leads just hung up, or buying it by the foot and making your own? You just matched the length and went off happy”
“Long gone mate. What cars it for?”
“You won’t have it listed, so can I please just have any old lead that you’ve got out the back”
“No sorry mate, can’t sell you just one lead; HEALTH & SAFETY mate”
“You what?”
“HEALTH & SAFETY”
“Health & Safety?”
“Yes mate; what if you just changed one lead and there was a fault with another, because of the high voltage they carry, you might be at risk, that’s why we only sell sets”
“High voltage?”
“Yes mate, could kill you, or fry a pacemaker in yer heart then kill ya”
“What? I thought it was current that killed you”
“No mate, the voltage in the lead could kill you”
“Oh, so because of the vast number of people being killed each year by faulty HT leads, you can only sell me a whole new set”
“Yes mate it’s for your safety see. What cars it for?”
“Jensen”
“Sorry mate it’s not in our book, is it an import? If not you’ll have to go to the main dealer”
AGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

i know what your saying daz , where have all the proper motor shops gone TT

I actually laughed really hard reading this Darren because I feel your pain... The kind of pain where you just start banging your head on the nearest wall at the sheer idiocy of the various systems in place to 'help' and the morons cluelessly operating inside the system with no f*cking idea.

I've just made a short comedy film about how fabulously wretched call centres are, populated with idiots who can't do the most simple thing.

So what's the upshot? Are you going to have to buy a set?

Hi Jez,

A "good" set from a Jensen "specialist" (for "specialist" read: "got ya by the ball's and charges like the Light Brigade")
They're £177 + VAT

Now I only needed the LT lead (coil to dizzy) so its a "normal" lead, no fancy ends, so I didn't want to part with £177 quid and give the chancellor his cut to pass on to some homeless lesbian asylum seeker seeking refugee from an oppressive homophobic dictatorship.

So I called at my local Garage and asked to rummage around in their dustbin. After two minutes I found 3 leads (under a homeless british national) and made one good lead for the car.

You just made me laugh big time. It reminds me of, well, anytime I go into a parts shop to try out something for my D.

"You have a rear tyre set 235/60/R15 ?"
"What car is it for?"
"Its for a DeLorean"
"A what?"
"A DeLorean"
"Sorry I don't have that model listed, what brand is it?"
"It's a DeLorean"
"Don't have that listed"
"Well I dont care, I just want to know if you have this tyre size"
"Without a model I cannot find the correct tyre size"
"I just told you, it's 235/60/R15"
"And you want a set of 4?"
"No, just two"
"Why would anyone want just 2 tyres?"
"I only want the rear ones"
"Why on earth do want that? You have a Ferrari or some sorts"
"No, its for a DeLorean"
"Never heard of it"
"BTTF"
"Oh yeah great movie"
"Well you got any tyres for that car?"
"JIM!!! DO WE HAVE ANY REAR TYRES FOR A DETOMASO??"
"A WHAT??"
"A DEROLAN!"
"NEVER HEARD THAT. WHAT SIZE???"
"What size?"
"235/60/R15"
He shouts "235/60/R15"
"WHY WOULD ANYONE WANT THAT SIZE!??"
"Why do you want that size sir? "
"Because I need new ones"
"Are you sure its correct? "
"Yes"
"HE"S SURE!"
"HAVENT GOT ANY !"
"Jim says we haven't got any front tyres for a DeLorean".

Now was that so hard?

And in contrast something along these lines:

Shop door opens.
"Bingelebing."
"I would like a fuel filter that matches this one"
"What brand is it for"
"It's a Volvo 760 GLE '81" (lying my ass off)
"Here you go, thats 25 euro's" (or whatever)
"Thank you very much, cheers".
Shop door closes.

Oh: the above fuel filter reference is just a 'figure of speech'. I have no idea if that actually matches.. Please don't correct me on it: this is just about the story.

LOL: Rob

It does seem that you get what you want if you dumb it down.

Is it just me or does anyone else get annoyed by tv show's that update you every 5 minutes on what happened 4 minutes ago? A 1 hour show has 25 minutes of content and 35 minutes of repeats.

No wonder I can't buy a simple plug lead, when the sales staff are captivated by this type of TV

lol - very true. I was watching "The Hotel Inspector" (I have to watch this on my 60 inch plasma for tax reasons ) - and you're quite right. Probably about 20 minutes of content, 15 minutes of adverts and 25 minutes of repeating the 20 minutes of content in most cases more than once! Even the adverts are repeated!

Still.... could be worse.... could be Big Brother!

Darren C wrote:.... and give the chancellor his cut to pass on to some homeless lesbian asylum seeker seeking refugee from an oppressive homophobic dictatorship.

LOL Darren. I am so putting this in my next peer performance review!

The sad fact is that 90% of the population are morons, hence why TV shows have now realised they get better figures in a multichannel world when they cater for them. Those summary sections are for people who skip channels relentlessly because they have an attention span of 25 seconds...

Have either of you guys seen Burn After Reading? That's a film about the frustration of dealing with a world where everyone is a moron...

jerzybondov wrote:Have either of you guys seen Burn After Reading? That's a film about the frustration of dealing with a world where everyone is a moron...

Haven't seen it, but the plot reminds me of a regular day at the office. Sad but true.