Has the world changed for the worse?
I was working on my Interceptor this weekend when I noticed a damaged lead to the coil. No problem, I thought, just nip down to the local motor factors and buy a lead about the same length……if it was only that simple.
Camberley Auto Factors
“Sorry don’t sell singles, you need to buy a set”……”But I only want 1 and don’t want to fork out for a whole set”
“What cars it for?”
This is where you just know it’s not going to happen.
“Jensen Interceptor III”
“A what? Never heard of it mate, if it ain’t listed I can’t sell you a set”
“Look, can’t you just open the cheapest set you have; if the length is ok I’ll buy it”
“Nope, if I open the box and its wrong then we can’t sell the set. That’s why we list the sets”
“Yes, but Jensen’s not on your list!”
“Sorry mate, not on the list can’t help you!”
Left muttering profanities.
Partco Centre
“Sorry don’t sell singles, you need to buy a set”……”But I only want 1 and don’t want to fork out for a whole set”
“What cars it for?”
“You won’t have it listed, so can I please just have any old lead set that’s got a lead in it that’s about this length (holding up old lead)?”
“We might have it listed by registration number”
A glimmer of hope me thinks, promptly reeling off reg.
“No mate, no match”
“Fine, can you just fetch your cheapest 4 cylinder lead set and I’ll see if there’s one long enough in there”
“What cars it for?”
“Doesn’t matter, just the cheapest set please”
“No I can’t see the prices you, have to name the car first”
“OK, try a Mini”
“What’s the reg?”
“I don’t bl**dy know, I’m just naming a car to get a look in your plug lead box”
“Can’t do it without a reg no”
“AGGGHHH”
Walks out in disgust
Halfords
(All lead’s in boxes on shelf, self look it up guide, eye’s glance at security stickers on boxes, I know I’m not going to be able to open a box)
“Can I help?” (Bloke pops up behind me)
“Probably not, but hey lets give it a try”
“What cars it for?” (Pointing at lead in my hand)
Here we go again.
“Doesn’t matter, just want you to sell me a lead this long please”
“Yes but what cars it for?”
“Jensen”
“Err…are you sure that’s a car name not a model like say…..a Nissan Jensen, or a Toyota Jensen, sounds Japanese or Korean, there’s only Jaguar in the book that begins with J”
Almost loosing the will to live:
“Are you for real?”
“Yes look….only Jaguar begins with J (points to book)”
“Sorry, my mistake, I’ll go home and read the letters on the back of my car to see if it’s a Nissan”
Walk’s out not knowing whether to laugh or cry.
Proparts
Last ditch attempt:
“Sorry don’t sell singles, you need to buy a set”……”But I only want 1 and don’t want to fork out for a whole set , what ever happened to the large racks where HT leads just hung up, or buying it by the foot and making your own? You just matched the length and went off happy”
“Long gone mate. What cars it for?”
“You won’t have it listed, so can I please just have any old lead that you’ve got out the back”
“No sorry mate, can’t sell you just one lead; HEALTH & SAFETY mate”
“You what?”
“HEALTH & SAFETY”
“Health & Safety?”
“Yes mate; what if you just changed one lead and there was a fault with another, because of the high voltage they carry, you might be at risk, that’s why we only sell sets”
“High voltage?”
“Yes mate, could kill you, or fry a pacemaker in yer heart then kill ya”
“What? I thought it was current that killed you”
“No mate, the voltage in the lead could kill you”
“Oh, so because of the vast number of people being killed each year by faulty HT leads, you can only sell me a whole new set”
“Yes mate it’s for your safety see. What cars it for?”
“Jensen”
“Sorry mate it’s not in our book, is it an import? If not you’ll have to go to the main dealer”
AGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
TT
